Moon Cursed (Sky Brooks Series Book 5) Page 25

  “What are you doing here?” My tone was more cutting than I expected. I opened the door wider so he could see Ethan, but I had a strong inkling he didn’t care. He hadn’t become Alpha by not being strong, a good predator with heightened senses, so I was sure if he hadn’t heard or smelled him, the sports car parked in my driveway had to be a giveaway.

  The bristling coolness of contempt became palpable. I could feel Ethan’s eyes on me. Cole glanced in Ethan’s direction and then breezily disregarded him with a flit of his eyes as he redirected his attention to me.

  I wished feelings were more amicable so that we could discuss the challenge. But once a challenge was issued, could things truly be cordial? I quickly dismissed the idea that anything other than poorly veiled discord was going to exist between them.

  “Just checking on you. Your wound looked severe yesterday, but Kelly said you’d left. I wasn’t sure if you were released or you went against medical advice. You didn’t seem very concerned about it, but I think you should have been.”

  “I’m fine. Thank you.”

  “May I come in?”

  I hesitated, and rightfully so—this could end very badly—and before I could decline, Ethan spoke. “Yeah, you can come in.”

  Cole walked in, then offered me one of the cups in his hands. “I didn’t know exactly what you like, but I smelled peppermint in the coffee Josh brought for you, and white chocolate, so I took a guess. Peppermint white mocha, is that your drink?”

  I nodded before taking it. He took a sip out of his. “I got regular chocolate, just in case.”

  He watched as I took a couple of sips and then turned in Ethan’s direction. “Good morning, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “Obviously.” I didn’t have to look back to see how hard Ethan’s jaw was clenched or that he was barely keeping it together; it was in his sharp response. Cole simply smiled at that reply.

  For a few moments there was just silence. Long, heavy, uncomfortable silence that I wanted to end. I felt the warmth of Ethan as he stepped closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back to him. I could feel the rigid muscles of his chest, tightly coiled, against my back. “Mine.”

  I knew I was supposed to be flattered, and that part of me that didn’t think claiming people like property was egregious didn’t mind, but that part of me that had a problem with a person planting a flag in me like they were claiming land had a hard time being so complimented. I ignored the latter person and leaned back into Ethan.

  “Of course she’s yours, pretty much like all the others.” Then he turned to the door and before he exited said, “But if she really were yours, she would bear your mark—she doesn’t. Why don’t you go ahead and add the little disclaimer ‘for now’ and save her the trouble and heartache?”

  Cole looked over his shoulder at me before closing the door behind him. Ethan’s lips covered mine in a heated kiss, his tongue exploring mine with increasing intensity. He walked me back closer to the counter. Swiping his free hand across it, he knocked everything onto the floor. Then he cupped my butt and lifted me onto the counter. My shirt rode up as he nestled between my legs, and heat rushed through me as he pulled away enough to tug off my underwear and then his. He rested against me, seeking entrance. With a breathy mewl, I yielded to him. He was unbridled pleasure—intense, passionate, and overpowering.

  His hips swiveled in a slow and persistent rhythm, his lips dragging lightly over the skin of my neck. His tongue peeked out periodically to taste me. Arousal strummed through me, and I moved, meeting his thrusts with need. Commanding hands splayed over my thighs, his fingers curling into my skin, and the rhythm of his movements increased. He kissed me again, his emotions riding him hard as he crushed his lips against mine. My nails clawed into his back, and I tightened my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. His raw sexual energy dominated me as he thrust at a frenetic pace and dug his fingers roughly into my skin. We moved with carnal ferocity as we sought our pleasure. Then he relaxed into me, his face buried in the valley of my neck. He licked at the pulse there. Warmth blanketed over me as he secured me close to him, with a need to be enclosed within me. As his breathing slowed, his kisses became more languid. I could feel his apprehension as his lips slowly coursed down to my shoulder, and I hoped he could feel mine.

  His teeth grazed against my skin. I tensed as he whispered, “Mine.” His teeth pressed even harder. I swallowed, apprehension increasing. Marked—a bite from your mate that couldn’t always be seen but was sensed by others, sealing the commitment to be mated. It seemed too soon, and there were still so many things about him that were unanswered. How could I do this with someone who had secrets he refused to disclose? It had only been a couple of weeks for us. It wasn’t like I could wake up as if it was a drunken mistake and look at him and say, “My bad, let’s get this annulled.”

  He pressed a little harder—controlled, tentative. Waiting for my consent. A long moment passed, and I couldn’t bring myself to give it.

  “Ethan,” I said, softly.

  “I know.” Placing a delicate kiss along the area, he rested his head against my chest. I stroked his hair.

  Things should have been better after sex. Eventually he moved away, his gaze vacant, his tone flat. “Is it Quell?”

  I shook my head.

  His voice tightened with disappointment. “Are you interested in Cole?”

  I shook my head. “It’s you. I don’t want to do it because of you.” The deep breath I took and held on to was supposed to be cleansing, but it made me feel light-headed. This was about to be one of those “talks” that ultimately ended with people going their separate ways. I watched him, waiting for him to say something, too afraid to be the one who spoke first and a little afraid of what would be said if I did.

  He moved away from me, closer to the wall. At that moment I realized how fragile we were—our relationship was. But I bit the bullet and did it. “I’ve proven myself to be trustworthy. Everything there is to know about me, you know, and most of the time you know before I do. I’ve accepted that when it comes to you I will never have all of you, including the secrets you have. I’ve accepted it, but it doesn’t mean I like it. And having what we have now is all I can take under those circumstances.”

  He nodded as he rested against the counter nearest to the door. Reading what he was thinking or ready to say was more difficult. His face was an emotionless slate and as stoic as usual.

  He started slowly. “Have I not been forthcoming with you? I’ve made it clear that there are things that I can’t tell you, nor will I. Things will not change because we are together. I’m sorry that they won’t. It was a mistake for you to think that they would.”

  Ethan was right. I was fully aware that he had secrets, and he hadn’t one time misrepresented himself. He’d said with an odd acceptance that he was a jackass, and he seemed to wear that title with a badge of honor. Of all the variations of gray that were seen in the pack and him, I’d expected some clarity. Perhaps it was naïve of me to think such a thing, but I figured it was subject to change based on our relationship. It hurt that it wasn’t. There was the extent of our emotional intimacy, because this was all he was willing to give.

  “You have to meet me halfway, Ethan, because I can’t do this. It’s not fair to me. Or us.” I took another breath and let the words spill out quickly because I didn’t want to lose the courage to say them. “You have to choose between your secrets and me. You can’t have both.”

  He nodded, taking in my words. He considered them for a long time in tension-filled silence. He approached me, taking my face gently in his hands, but he remained deep in thought, and I figured he was trying to determine where to start. I imagined he had so many. But he didn’t say anything more. His lips pressed into a tight line, as if words would escape if he relaxed them for a moment.

  Then he kissed me, long and gently. He stopped, went into my bedroom, dressed, and was gone before I could say anything. I didn’t know what it me
ant, although my gut or maybe my heart was telling me I wanted to ignore it. He’d made his choice, and it was the secrets.

  I blinked them back, but a few tears streamed down my face.

  That day, things went from bad to progressively worse. I stared at the e-mail from my employer. Or rather my ex-employer. My eyes skipped over all the niceties telling me how she’d enjoyed working with me, the BS about my exemplary job performance, and how she would be giving me a good recommendation. I just fixed on the part where she decided to put, if by some chance I hadn’t gathered it already, that I was fired.

  After Ethan left, I had a lazy day, periodically pulling out a book. I even attempted a few spells. I was distracted, and everything I did was poorly controlled. My magic was a mess and so was I.

  Ethan’s scent wafting throughout my house was usually comforting; now it just taunted me. Made me feel foolish for my decision and was a reminder of how fragile the seams of our relationship were. I got in my car and drove, speeding down the streets, barely aware of my environment. On autopilot, I figured I’d end up at Winter’s home, but instead I pulled into Steven’s driveway.

  By the time I got to the door, it was open and I just walked in. Giving me one assessing look, he frowned. “Want to talk?”

  “No.” And I didn’t. Not at that moment.

  I knew eventually I was going to have to say something to Steven instead of just lying next to him, watching what might have been one of the worst movies we’d ever viewed. It’s what we did, watching films that received horrible reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and spending the entire time mocking them. Cheap and lowbrow, but fun nevertheless. I smirked at some of his comments and even laughed at his jokes—empty, hollow, forced laughter. This had spiraled so far out of control that I just didn’t know where to begin.

  “I got fired today,” I finally blurted out. I didn’t know why I was surprised. I’d worked as a contractor for a healthcare auditor. It was a job that fit me perfectly. I went into the office occasionally for mandatory meetings. I wasn’t in any hospital or facility longer than a week, which allowed me to interact with people, something that at one time I’d craved, but still gave me enough anonymity to maintain my privacy. One week wasn’t enough time for most people to feel comfortable probing into my backstory.

  Since the pack had come into my life, I’d started taking fewer assignments. After a written warning, I’d made an effort to take more jobs, but between dealing with pack issues and trying to stay alive, I’d missed a couple of assignments. Added to the list of things I needed to do, which included removing a curse that was going to kill most of the were-animals, was searching for a job.

  “Is that what’s really bothering you?” he asked suspiciously. It seemed like the one thing that I was okay with admitting. People understood being upset about a job, but I wasn’t sure my situation with Ethan could be easily understood. I barely understood it, but a heavy weight had been on my chest since Ethan had walked out that morning.

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re just really not good at the lying thing at all.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “So what are you really upset about?”

  He listened as I told him everything, from the spell that went wrong to my magical travel to the past, which was a retelling of an apocalyptic world where were-animals were nothing more than monsters wreaking devastation. I even told him about Cole, his attempt to kiss me, and the exchange between him and Ethan that morning when he’d brought me coffee.

  “I told you things were more serious than you wanted to accept with Ethan.”

  “Probably not anymore.” Then I told him about me stopping Ethan from placing a mate marking on me.

  When Steven’s only response was “oh,” I knew things were probably as bad as I suspected. A long, weighted silence followed.

  He seemed to carefully choose each of his next words. “Did he tell you it was over?”

  “He didn’t say anything; he just left.”

  His full lips drew down into a frown. “Do you think Ethan has ever been rejected?”

  Based on his personality, it wasn’t unreasonable to believe that if there had been any rejections, they were very few. “Probably not.”

  “You rejected him as your mate. I can’t imagine that feels good. But Ethan’s never been one to mince words. If it’s over, I don’t think he would have a problem saying that. I’m not the one you should be discussing this with. Talk to him.”

  He was right, and yet it was the last thing I wanted to do. “And if I’m right?”

  Ruefully, he cast his eyes down, as if afraid to see how his words would affect me. “Isn’t it still better to know? I’m sure it’s going to hurt, but not knowing seems to be doing a lot of damage, too,” he offered softly.

  When I left Steven’s home, I had every intention of talking to Ethan when Josh called me to ask me to meet him at the retreat. I was relieved—I’d been given a reprieve from a conversation I needed to have but didn’t want to.

  CHAPTER 19

  Ethan, Josh, and Sebastian were already in the library when I arrived. I busied myself with trying to look at the paper in Josh’s hand, and each time my eyes drifted in Ethan’s direction, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

  He greeted me, his tone emotionally detached, cool. I ached. It felt like a crushing indictment of where I’d thought our relationship was going. With effort I pulled my eyes from him and looked at Josh, who had a scowl firmly fixed on his face—one he usually reserved for his brother.

  “You don’t think there is any other way?” Sebastian asked, his face serious and tinged with harsh resignation.

  “We’ve tried everything. We need to get the third book from Samuel.” A task that wasn’t going to be simple. When dealing with him, it never was.

  “I’ve had someone go to the last three places where his whereabouts were known. He’s gone deep into hiding.” That was his M.O. He hid from the world, I suspected so that he could hold on to his tenet that magic was bad, all of it, and should be removed from the world. That staunch belief made it hard to see past the rhetoric and realize that there were so many nuances to magic. He’d reduced his ideology to bare simplicities: magic bad, no magic good. Watching Josh’s concerned face, I knew he had to be thinking along the same lines.

  “Is there a location spell that we can try?” Sebastian asked.

  “Not without his blood,” Josh said.

  “Senna, she might know,” I offered. When doubtful eyes turned in my direction, I frowned at the idea that my younger cousin was consorting with the likes of Samuel. Being acquiescent wasn’t in her nature, so I doubted if he could convince her to do anything she didn’t want to do. She enjoyed magic, and no matter how attractive she found him, which had been apparent upon them meeting a couple of weeks ago, the fundamentalist wasn’t going to convince her that a magicless utopia was the way to go.

  “You think she will help?”

  I wasn’t sure, but of the two, convincing Senna to assist was going to be the easiest of our problems.

  I stepped out, pulled out my phone, and called her. I'd saved Senna's life, and remuneration had been made by the pack for unceremoniously taking the Clostra when they'd rescued me from them; I hoped it was enough for all to be forgiven and to persuade her to help.

  “Yeah.” I could envision the youthful look of defiance that had probably overtaken her face.

  “This is Sky.”

  “All phones have caller ID, I know who it is.” She’s just a peach. “What do you want?”

  I guess we aren’t going to have any pleasantries. “Do you have a way of getting in touch with Samuel?”

  It took the constant skeptic a moment to even entertain the question. “Why?”

  “I need him?”

  “Is it about the Clostra?” I could imagine the sour look on her round face, which closely resembled mine, although Sebastian was convinced she was adopted. I didn’t think so. There seemed to be something familial about her, but mayb
e I was convinced of this by my desire to have a link to someone else who could read the Clostra. To have that in common with at least one person in the world.

  “Yes.”

  “He’s not a library. You don’t get to check it out whenever you need it.”

  I so don’t need this.

  Dealing with cantankerous, obstinate twenty-year-olds wasn’t in my wheelhouse. “I know, but this is very important. Please know that if we need it, the situation is dire.” My family had never wanted the books to cause harm, but they’d have taken the money they would have brought them if sold. I wasn’t sure why people were willing to risk buying a book of dangerous spells if they didn’t have the ability to use it.

  “It’s very important,” I said, filling my voice with urgency. “If it wasn’t important, I give you my word, I would not be calling you for this favor.”

  She sighed heavily. “I’ll call you right back.”

  “Right back” was twenty minutes later. “He wants to know what you need it for.”

  I knew that was information I couldn’t give him. Getting rid of the were-animals was part of his plan, or rather his desire to live in a world without the cursed existence of beasts who presented themselves to the world as men. He wanted the spell that he said was to put the beasts to rest, one that would take away our ability to shift. Sebastian and Ethan were convinced the spell he wanted to use was one to kill them. Either way, the “no magic” cheerleader wasn’t likely to remove the veil of his fundamentalism to find sympathy for this situation.

  “I need the books, Senna,” I said in a stern voice. The moment I said it, I knew it wouldn’t work.

  “I don’t mind helping you, but I’m pretty sure that’s not going to work.”

  “Can you convince him to call me?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” The light arrogance and confidence of her tone made it apparent that she had a lot more control in regard to that than she was saying. She hung up without saying good-bye. I swear, she’s just sunshine and puppies.